Giving unsolicited advice is about as popular as being the Thanksgiving guest who brings up politics at the dinner table. Receiving it is about as joyous as being told by your mom that you really should start having kids. I therefore gladly stay away from unsolicited advice. Plus, I generally don't like telling people what to do.
I admit, occasionally I think about saying something when I know I could help a rider make radical improvements just by getting their alignment in order. But I don't. Because if it's not welcome, it doesn't matter whether it's correct or not.
But as a decent human being, and as a professional, it's also my job to help and look out for the horses. Often, there are fine lines to tread.
Sometimes, the relationship is such that it allows for an opening to at least hear something. I remember a rider who has a spooky horse that she loves and adores, but who frightens her at times. She thought she was supposed to respond with toughness. In a casual conversation, I explained that her mare (who I had worked with and liked very much) is one who looks to her rider for confidence, and as long as the rider keeps her feeling safe, she'll do anything. I didn't think much of it, but this rider later told me on multiple occasions that it completely changed her relationship with her horse and she found a way to communicate with her better.
On another occasion, a boarder at a private barn at which I have a client, told me about his horse having a cut in her nose. He cleaned it and he generally takes excellent care of the horse. But over a period of a week or so he still mentioned the cut bleeding. I causally said that maybe a vet should look at it. I was pretty uncomfortable saying it, but felt strongly that at this point this was probably more than just a little cut. I was completely surprised that based on my comment, this owner called the vet immediately and thanked me the next time he saw me with a high five. Apparently by then flies had gotten into the wound and it had become an icky mess of goop (technical term) and larvae. The horse received several injections in addition to a thorough wound cleaning.
I have also once fairly firmly told a non-horsey husband to not hard-tie a horse that had just pulled back and in the process broken his wife's arm. I was not going to stand for a horse with a broken neck or a seriously injured human. I informed the barn owner of my putting my foot down, well aware that I might have been overstepping my boundaries, but thankfully they were on the same page.
But when it comes to equipment use and riding that is questionable at best, and abusive at worst, where is that fine line? I saw a teenager using a rusty twisted wire bit with a huge shank on her darling horse in a manner that made my stomach turn. She was lucky that horse didn't flip itself over. To me, that was way over the line, but it was not my barn, not my client, not my anything, I just happened to be there. The sad thing is that this kid thinks she's doing the right thing by being a rough cowgirl. I decided to let the barn owner know what I observed, but still felt that I let that horse down big time.
I will continue to tread the fine line of unsolicited advice and a potentially helpful intervention with as much tact as a possible. But I sure wish I didn't have to bite my tongue when it comes to outright shitty riding.
